The article below was written by yours truly and reprinted courtesy of Not So Modern Drummer Magazine 2003. It is, of course, a total fabrication. If you play drums, it helps to have a sense of humor...Right?

Origins of Drum-Related Terminology: The Kick Drum

The alert reader will no doubt recall my ground breaking article in the 1999 issue of Not So Modern Drummer, “Drums and Bagpipes "-an endangered Species?”
 ( author's note- depending on how much hate mail I get, maybe I'll post this one too...) I am happy to report that due to the awareness generated by this article, Bagpipe assaults have declined dramatically, save for the occasional miscreant with an axe to grind.



In the continuing quest to gain insight into this wonderful instrument called the drum set, we now set out to examine the origin of the term “kick” as used in reference to the bass drum.

While many contemporary players are used to this adjective, upon further reflection some of us will no doubt recall the days when the phrase ‘bass drum” in essence defined the instrument.

Many drummers assume the term emerged from the late 70”s, early 80’s coined by Sound Reinforcement Personnel (SRP). These, of course, are the people who never get the monitor mix correct. As the drummer stuffed his bass drum with more and more sound absorbing materials, attempting to recreate the current studio bass drum sound (in reality a closed miked stuffed bear being hit with a sledgehammer) the SRP would yell; “Kick that thing! I can’t hear it!!” As logical as it might appear at first, the origin has somewhat of a more, uh, bizarre origin.

Thusly, I now set out to place the appearance of the word “Kick” in it’s rightful place in drum history, lest its origin be forever lost. This was not as easy a task as one might imagine, many false accounts abound and were it not for a set of fortuitous circumstances, the actual reason may never have been revealed. 

My encounter with the origin of the term began in an unusual way while on vacation, visiting a rather rundown establishment in Miltonberry, Vermont in the summer of 2000. On a warm, rainy, June evening I chanced to strike up a conversation with the proprietor who, upon learning I played drums, proceeded to wax poetically about his first love, German Marching Band Music, seconded only by his undying passion for Swing Music of the 1990’s.
“ Ayup,” he proclaimed, wiping his ashtray vigorously, “That swing music just sets year feet a tappin! The beat from that incessant kick drum is better than sex for me!”

Given his appearance and somewhat, ah, eclectic taste in certain music, I refrained from remarking on the obvious.

“Did you know,” I asked, “That in the old days that was referred to as a bass drum?”

“Ha, he remarked, swatting at an errant mosquito and missing, ”that fellah over there tells a similar story. You two oughta get together” he pointed a rather unkempt finger at a bearded gentleman sitting at table on the side of the bar furthermost from the jukebox. “He claims he was there when this record fellah coined the term.”

Encouraged, I walked to the gentleman, who was playing checkers with a vengeance. I introduced myself, related the barman’s claim and asked if he could relay the story.

His name, as it turns out was Michael Strongmartin. Record aficionados will no doubt recall his engineering prowess on numerous Rock and R&B albums of the 70’s and 80’s. His work on the unreleased Steely Dan album “Rona’s Fault” was nominated for a Grammy in 1982.

Upon settling in with a Molson ale, he relayed the story thusly…

“ I was in LA finishing up the final mix for the Dead Mollys when I got a call from Chris Finch at Sony Records to see If I could help with engineering the new record for Joe Blegley and the Damned. Their last two albums, if you remember anything about the 80’s, went platinum before they were even recorded.

They had a brand new producer, Marty Biglione, brand new in that he’d never produced a band before. But, he had lots of experience in Vegas He was somehow hired by Sony to produce the next album for Joe and company…

I met Marty and his assistants, Rocko and Vinnie, at the studio as the band was finishing setting up. I did the usual, you know, “Thrilled to be working with you”, etc. He kind of grunted something and kept looking at the knobs on the mixing console.

“We needa a major hit here, make sure these things are lined up right” I told him sure no problem, let us get set up and we’ll be ready with a rough mix in a few hours.
He said, “Great, we’re goin to lunch”.

When they got back, the mix was smokin’ and Stu-guitar, Jimmy-bass player and the and Freddy-drums were layin’ the basic tracks for” Teen Age Slime” and Marty just stood there listenin’ and noddin’ his head.

Then, it happened. Marty pointed to the slider on the mixing console that had “Bass Drum” an said “Get that Bass drum up in there” only he pronounced it B-A-S-S-, you know, like the fish! I thought, Jesus! Well, up in the mix it went, and Marty grins and says “Yeah, Solid!, It kicks ASS! right guys?” Rocko and Vinnie nodded in unison and Vinnie says, “ Yeah the BASS drum is killer!” Again with the fish! I thought, what am I gonna say? I mean, correct this guy? Yeah right... So Marty says he’s goin’ to make a couple of calls and then we could start on the project.

He leaves and there’s silence. Then Walt, my assistant, goes “Yeah! the B-A-S-S drum is happenin’!” into the talkback mic. And the band, who heard all this, cracks up. “Yeah! Says Freddie, I’m bringing in a 26” TROUT the next time we record....” “Yeah, says Jimmy, that’s what Bonham used...” “Nah”, said Stu, “It was a 26” HALIBUT!” ” HA HA HA...” And everyone’s in hysterics, ya know, until Rick says. “Who’s gonna tell Marty he’s wrong?”

Well, you coulda heard a pin drop. Everyone get real serious as they visualize their bodies with broken bones and black and blue marks.

I go, “Guys, we gotta fix this, quick!!” There’s dead silence, and then Walt goes, “Wait, Marty said the drum KICKS ass, right???” We all look at him like he’s nuts. “ No, really, I’m serious, pull the tape off and relabel it” He grabs some tape and before I can stop him, rips off the “bass drum” label and writes “KICK DRUM” on a new piece of tape, and sticks it on the console just as Marty comes back into the control room.
“Yo. Marty,’ says Walt, pointing to the console, “we loved the use of the work “Kick” in there so we thought we’d use your term, do ya mind?” 

Marty looks at Walt like he’s nuts, and then he remembers, “Oh yeah, Kick ass! Yeah, it’s all yours...”
Well, of course, Joe Blegley’s vocals made that tune and album multi platinum, and before long every producer in LA is using KICK drum as the new hip term. I never dared tell anyone because who wants to admit they were a wimp and responsible for a term in a bizarre situation like that?. .Sound guys began using it and it sort of spread from there.

A few years later, I got fed up with LA and moved here to raise cats.
 Marty’s success as a producer continued its rise until his untimely death in a freak meteor shower in 1989, and there you have it.”

          

I left mister Strongmartin at the table that evening, somewhat inebriated but relieved, and myself somewhat subdued by the events he related, but glad in a small way that a mystery had been unraveled. After all, what other tricks has fate played in small historical events that have unknowingly shaped our lives as drummers?
The Hi Hat? The Splash Cymbal? The Trap Case? The list could be endless...
Now, the RACK tom...